I have been virtually teaching since August so I have had to rely on my parents a lot during lessons and especially during our small group centers that are in half hour segments once a day. Every Friday I do some form of a fine motor activity or an art project so that the students are working on and tuning those fine motor skills with cutting, drawing, painting, etc. Yesterday’s activity was focused on the students showing me their ability to cut. I drew an example of a turkey body and had them cut it out, then showed them how to draw the shape of a feather and cut those out to glue to the body. Eventually we then either drew on faces or they glued googly eyes and other body parts. During my “Group B” I observed a mom and her daughter, G, and how they communicated with each other. Mom was encouraging G as she was cutting, saying phrases like, “ok, slow down, but good job”, and “you can do it” but she also used some more negatively-toned phrases such as “no, G, not like that” and “stay on the line when you cut!” While mom was not trying to be mean with those phrases, and in fact, was attempting to be helpful, I watched G’s face and how she immediately grew frustrated with the fact that she apparently wasn’t doing it “right”. She stopped smiling and laughing as she was cutting, and finished cutting out the body, but not as eagerly as before. When G went to start cutting her feathers out, Mom took her turkey body and said, “oh, I’ll just fix this so it looks nicer”. Once again, mom was not trying to be mean with this, but again, G grew frustrated and alarmed. She even said to her mom, “no, mommy, I did it. Ms. Pyle said it was good” but mom smiled and continued to change what G had completed so that it looked “perfect”.
When this mom changed what G had worked so hard to accomplish (at my cheering and subtle reminders to mom that this WAS G’s project, and I was focused on her process, NOT a “perfect” finished project) it definitely hurt G’s feelings. Mom was unintentionally telling G that what she did was wrong and no good. In G’s eyes, the product that she worked hard to finish wasn’t good enough despite that she had done her best job on it. Changing a child’s own personal work so that it looks “perfect” or like the example/like everyone else’s is not an appropriate action for teachers or even parents to do (not that they all understand that, like this mom)
I’m glad to note that I found myself immediately reassuring G that her work was beautiful and how great her turkey was going to look. I asked her if she was proud of her work and proud of how she was finishing her task, despite it being difficult at times. I did notice that as I subtly reminded mom that this was G’s project and the fact that SHE had done the best that SHE was able to do at her level, mom did not try to change the feathers that G was cutting out, despite her not cutting on the lines exactly or making them nice and even. When I first started teaching I used to love doing projects where we all did the same thing and hung up the same 18 watermelons on the wall…. But no one could tell who’s was who’s because it wasn’t child-directed. My students final products all looked different yesterday, yet we all made a turkey. But the kids were able to take more pride in their own work because they created it how they wanted it. My favorite actually ended up being a blue turkey with green feathers, because that was that child’s favorite colors and that’s how HE wanted his turkey to look like. Observation is essential and useful communication much more. Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010) state that “children’s daily interactions with their teachers and others adults are at the heart of anti-bias education” and when we listen to what they want, they will being come more interested in what we are teaching or doing. Had I forced that child to use a certain color or create it in an exact way, he might not have enjoyed the project. But I watched his face as mom was pulling out the different colors of construction paper and when she pulled out the brown for the body he frowned and looked upset. When I asked him and allowed him to communicate his wants with the project it showed him that I cared about what he thought and what he wanted to do.
References
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
Brittany's Blog: Teaching with Ms. Pyle 
Brittany,
Great blog. When observing a child, it is important to be willing to just sit and look and listen. Children show how they feel by the way they do things as well as by what they do. They communicate through their voices, postures, gestures, mannerisms, and facial expressions. Effective communication skills are integral to children’s self-expression their development of social relationships and to their learning. When you engage in and sustain interactions with preschoolers based on their interests, you help strengthen the child’s role as a partner in communication.
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Brittany,
Fantastic blog. I have also been teaching virtually since August, and it has been an eye-opening experience. I am glad that you shared G’s reaction to what their mother did changing their project. It’s interesting being on the observing end and seeing what happens in the home to have children think about their own work the way that they do. When I see a parent helping a student I think that it’s wonderful. When it comes to the parent doing the work for their child, it makes me put myself into that child’s shoes and imagine how they feel, or think about what they have actually absorbed through learning. Thanks for sharing!
-Heather
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Brittany,
I love how used less aggressive words to coach G’s mom and G that the purpose of the exercise was not to be perfect. I love it even more so that you recognize that from when you first began that there needed to be an adjustment as no one could determine which melon belong to what student. Giving students the freedom to express themselves by whatever color they wanted allows that child creative side to show and they generally from what I have witnessed take much more pride in sharing an expressing what they think or feel about the process of things such as crafting their turkey. Brittany based off they examples you have shared, I think you have done an exceptional job of adjusting to virtual teaching and staying connected to your students. Great Job !!!!
Violanda
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